How to Perform Ancestral Worship


Since the holidays are here, I want to present an entry that might help with grieving persons. In the past, when I have coped with loss during the holiday season, I have allowed myself time to grieve. However, I have also had to force myself out of that grief; so I wouldn’t become trapped in a negative place.

The first year I dealt with grief over the holidays was after my grandfather died. The January prior, he had suffered a stroke that caused him to flatline. Although he was a “Do Not Resituate” case, paramedics revived him. Over the following days, he lingered in a coma from which he would never awaken.

That year’s holiday season, I spent my time moping because I didn’t know what else to do. The following year, I determined I wouldn’t spend this season feeling sorry for myself. To succeed, I created new traditions with friends while honoring family customs. Since then, coping has become easier with each year. Regardless, the holidays are never the same.


Ancestral Worship

Seven years ago, I discovered ancestral worship. For many, this might sound sacrilegious, or tedious, but it is neither. Before one jumps to assumptions, this practice is a glorified version of tending a grave. My thoughts are, when one visits a relative’s grave, one gives them offerings. Gifts can range from: flowers, trinkets, or decorations to show that we still love, miss, and honor them. Also, it isn’t uncommon for one to speak directly to the grave to relay words of longing and loss. These actions that I detailed are the primary building blocks for ancestral worship.

For those questioning if ancestral worship excludes any one particular religion, it doesn’t. As a matter of fact, anyone can perform the following, as long as they believe in a spiritual existence. Even if one is an atheist, they can still create an ancestor altar and give offerings. However, I believe one’s skepticism could create communication obstacles.

To succeed when preforming ancestral worship, all one must do is act and speak from the heart. No matter what one may have heard in the past about one way being the only way, there is no wrong way to honor the dead.

Benefits of Ancestral Worship

The benefits of ancestral worship are plentiful for you and them.

1. The greatest benefit is knowing you served your loved ones.

2. Ancestor worship can decrease grief and feelings of loss.

3. By honoring loved ones, the method can strengthen one’s spiritual bond. These bonds will allow one a greater means of spiritual communication.

4. The spirits may be quicker to assist when called on.

5. The spirits will feel more confident in relaying signs. The reason why is because they understand their spiritual existence is being acknowledged. Therefore, they understand the living won’t dismiss any signs they provide.

Selecting the Deceased

It is best to honor deceased relatives who one has met in life and felt close to. Most cases will include immediate family members and a few close cousins. Nonetheless, there is no limit to who one can honor within their family tree.

If one has endured abuse from a relative, one should use their own judgement if they want to honor that relative. Being honest, there are a few uncles who aren’t honored on my altar because they were mean spirited in life.

In the modern age, there are many family types. Adopted, blended, and step are but a few to name. If one falls into those above categories, or a similar category, they may include nonblood relatives.


How to Honor Deceased Relatives

A. One will need to build an ancestor altar.

Like a gravestone, an ancestor altar will act as a personal memorial to our loved one. What I have learned from past experiences are spirits appreciate offerings.

When building an altar for a relative, or relatives, include the following:

1. A lit white candle to give them light and energy. (I use seven day prayer candles.)

2. A cup of water to allow them a refreshment. As the water evaporates, it symbolizes the spirits drinking.

3. A photo of the deceased.

4. (If Possible) something that belonged to the deceased.

5. An offering pertaining to what the deceased enjoyed in life. This can include, but is not limited to: cigarettes, wine, jewelry, books, snacks, candy, etc.

B. When honoring a deceased relative, speak aloud from the heart.

1. Call each honored spirit by first and last name.

2. Explain the light is to give them energy.

3. Say the drink is to provide them refreshment.

4. Specify the offering you brought is for them.

C. Sit in silence and reflect on the good times one shared with their ancestor. Or, one can speak aloud to the spirits.

Meditation is a big part of this exercise. For those who don’t know how to meditate, don’t worry. Meditation can be as simple, or as complex, as what one makes it. Personally, I consider meditation to be alone time while blocking out the rest of the world. Being in solitude will allow one to clear their mind and to focus on peace and quiet for however long they wish.

D. When finished, I invite my deceased relatives to hang around. I close with the Lord’s Prayer and blow out the candles.


Holidays, Birthdays, Death Days, and Anniversaries

1. Holidays

Opposing any typical day, I treat holidays differently with deceased relatives.

On holidays, such as: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. I will give extra offerings. I consider extra to be holiday candy, or small portions of whatever holiday feast one is serving. As one may gather, the idea is to share with the deceased what the holiday provides.

Before family arrives, I perform the steps listed in “How to Honor Deceased Relatives.” After completing those steps, I invite my deceased ancestors to join our holiday celebration.

If one can keep an eye on the candles throughout festivities, they may leave them lit. Otherwise, it is always safe to extinguish any unsupervised flame.

2. Birthdays, Death Days, and Anniversaries

Among celebrated holidays are the birthday and death day of those who I honor.

One should always remember the birthday of the deceased. Without this individual being born, one would have never known the joys they brought to life. If the deceased is a parent, or grandparent, etc. one might not exist without them. By celebrating our loved one’s birth, we honor their worldly contributions.

The anniversary of a loved one’s death should receive celebration, not mourning. I say celebration because upon celebrating the death of a loved one, one recognizes death isn’t the end. Rather, death is a transformation that allows one to live beyond the body. (If one does mourn during this celebration, don’t worry. Some emotions can’t be helped and it is better to expel vs. feeling repressed. Just do not trap yourself in a state of grief.)

One can celebrate wedding anniversaries in regards to their deceased spouse by using the same above methods.


What to do with Food Offerings

The objective is waste not, want not. The idea of offerings is to show our ancestors that we remember them and we include them in our festivities.

Candy is easy to dispose of. After the holiday is over, take the candy and give it to whoever may enjoy it.

When sharing meals with the deceased, keep the portions small. Once festivities end, feed the offerings to your pets, if they are pet friendly. One can throw food offerings to the elements. Or, if the offerings are still good, eat them.

Ancestors Trapped in Purgatory

As I stated in a previous entry, sometimes spirits can go to purgatory due to deeds they have committed in life. If you feel a loved one may be in purgatory, I would urge that one pray for them to ascend. Using one’s own judgement, one may place them on an ancestor altar and grant them offerings. One may ask family spirits to help that ancestor ascend.

However, I wouldn’t ask for assistance from a spirit in purgatory. Doing so is like asking for help from someone who is already overburdened by their own troubles.

Though one may light a vigil and pray for purgatory spirits at any time, a powerful day for this work is All Souls Day.


Side Notes:

To ensure no negative entities visit, one may first smudge their home with burning sage.

Saying a protection prayer, or opening an energy bubble, can help keep unwanted spirits away.

I am not responsible for how one decides to honor their deceased loved ones. Nor am I responsible for what may occur after making contact.

This entry is dedicated to Brenda.  Thank you for requesting I write of this subject.

Earthbound Spirits


In last month’s entry, I spoke about what a spirit will do once it departs the body. It will either return to where it was happiest, pass on into the hereafter, or it will stay earthbound. Although I touched on the subject, that entry focused on locations that harbored demons. For those curious about earthbound spirits, this entry can provide a greater understanding.

Below, I have listed some tips on how one can assist a spirit in crossing over. Though there are different methods, this post will give the gist of what to do. Also, I will elaborate on what might happen if one refuses to help the spirit that is in need.

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Earthbound Spirit Types

I believe earthbound spirits can fall under three categorizations.

1. The spirit who is afraid to crossover due to judgement. If fear is why the spirit is earthbound, there could be many reasons to justify its refusal to ascend. Most times, this type of limbo is because the spirit has committed a downfall in life; one that goes against their spiritual upbringing. This could be anything as minor as sexuality to something as extreme as suicide or murder.

2. The spirit with unfinished business. Sometimes, the spirit is unable to crossover due to unfinished business. This can be because of loved ones needing their assistance to unknown information.

3. The confused spirit. Confusion could occur because they don’t realize they’re dead. Or, now that they are dead, they might not know what to do next.

Assisting the Spirit Types

In spirit communication, it is always wise to ask if the spirit is happy, if it is earthbound, or if it is visiting. If it is happy or visiting, it is already content. However, if the spirit states it is earthbound one must achieve the following:

If the spirit is willing to communicate, learn its name and why it is earthbound.

1. The spirit who is afraid to cross over due to judgement. No matter why the spirit is afraid to crossover, it is not our place to judge. Rather it is best to counsel them. Urge they can achieve peace and redemption upon crossing over. Due to them staying behind, they have already shown remorse. They depend on prayers among the living to help them ascend.

2. The spirit with unfinished business. Under this circumstance, the spirit may require help completing incomplete tasks. Unfinished business can regard information, or one’s own wellbeing. After completing their tasks, most times they will crossover by their own accord.

3. The confused spirit. For this type of spirit, one must explain that the spirit has departed from its body and it needs to ascend.

If the spirit won’t communicate, helping them crossover could become difficult. If one lacks a name, or reason why the spirit is earthbound, they will have to be vague when assisting.

Example: One can note, “You have passed away and if you are unhappy here, you must crossover. If you are afraid to crossover due to a sin, know that if you are repentant, you can still achieve peace in the afterlife. There is no reason to be afraid. If you have unfinished business, I can’t help you, unless you give me a sign of what that unfinished business is.”


Under all three circumstances, these tips can help.

1. Lighting a white candle. White candles are all purpose and release positivity. Also, the white candle can pose as a symbolic visual for the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, this is necessary for spirits who need visual assistance.

2. Lighting a black candle. Black candles can remove negativity and can help burn away restraining elements. Sometimes, burning a black candle with a white candle is beneficial. Burned together, this will release positivity and burn away negativity.

3. Asking the spirit realm for assistance. One can call on saints, angels, or relative spirits for guidance. If one invokes another spiritual entity, be specific on what one requires.

4. Burn Sage. Sage can clear away negativity and work as a good spiritual cleansing agent.

Coaxing an earthbound spirit to crossover will take time and multiple attempts. Such as with visiting a therapist, resolving the situation won’t occur after one session. Whenever the spirit is confident enough, or able to depart, it will.

Abusing the Spirits

Refusing to help a spirit crossover is not only unethical, it seems cruelhearted. It’s no different than an emergency dispatcher denying the caller assistance. One may question how, or why, an individual has the power to keep a spirit earthbound. The answer to both are simple.

1. One can keep a spirit earthbound by refusing to help them crossover.

2. A tactic for the spirit who is afraid to crossover due to moral downfalls is to feed their fear of damnation.

3. For a spirit with unfinished business, one can attempt to prevent that business. In regards to the confused spirit, all one must do is not counsel them in departing from this world.

Why would someone restrain spirits?

1. Sometimes, the individual feels like the spirits empower them. This is no different than a depressed person leeching onto others for emotional gain.

2. Other times, individuals feel like they own the spirits. This happens when one believes they own everything on their property, ghosts included.

3. In most cases, seedy persons will refuse help to gain attention and money for their property.

No matter the purpose for restraining a spirit, it all boils down to personal gain for the living.


While one might not see the harm in being a spiritual bully, there are consequences. The greatest danger is that the spirit will fall into a deeper emotional rut. This can influence: oppression, anxiety, and anger among the deceased and living. These emotions spawn low vibrations.

In turn, these low vibrations can attract malevolent entities onto the property. If this occurs, not only is the repressed spirit at risk for attack, but the living is also at risk. Other times, if the spirit becomes tired enough of restraint, it can lash out at those on the property.


The House

Separated from society and neighbors, there is an attraction in the Mississippi backwoods. Going there, one must snake through gravel roads, their width not adequate to accommodate two passing vehicles. Surrounded by fields, greenery, and wildlife, there sits a home. Every October it becomes a themed haunted house. Aged over a hundred years, this weathered farmhouse is wood structured with a tin roof. Due to its upkeep, the residence omits a natural foreboding vibe. Yet, nothing on that property poses a threat, except the homeowner.

I learned about this attraction a few Octobers ago through some friends who worked there. Wanting to get into the spirit of the season, I waited until a weekend near Halloween. At dusk, I grabbed a friend, and we drove into the middle of nowhere for a few cheap thrills. Once there, we paid our fee and stood in a line that stretched from the front door to the road. After waiting, a guide walked us through the dilapidated home. Once out its backdoor, we entered a trail that wound deeper into the woods. When finished, we decided the amusement was suitable for younger ages. Nonetheless, we went to see what our friends accomplished. Sadly, we visited on a night when neither friend worked.

The Haunted House is Haunted

Days later, Zqueen and I talked about the location and the work she accomplished when on duty. Being that she is a skilled makeup artist, I expressed my regret for missing her art. We made small talk about the attraction then she asked, “You know the house is really haunted, right?”

Actually, I didn’t know that. When I went to the attraction, I didn’t go there with myself open to receive paranormal signs or activity. I visited to have fun. Upon admitting this, and trusting her as a person who is always honest, I asked what she experienced.

She explained she didn’t feel anything evil or negative on the property. Instead, the spirits seemed playful. Once, an entity knocked her hood off. Also, she added that a mutual friend felt spirits tugging on his clothes. I explained if nothing felt threatening, then the spirits probably hung around because they adore the land.

The Proposition

Months passed and I received a message via social media from the property owner. She was curious if Zqueen and I wanted to be guest investigators for a live feed ghost hunt. The investigation would occur at her home, which served as the themed haunted attraction.

Despite the proposition feeling exploitative, I told her I would debate it. Next, I contacted Zqueen and asked her opinion. Since she never partook in a paranormal investigation, she said she would do it if I agreed.

Replying to the homeowner, I established some ground rules. Due to past conflicts with other groups, I explained I did not want the spirits provoked in a negative way. Second, I stated that my investigational equipment remain with me.

In response, she explained I could keep my equipment and she guaranteed no one ever provoked the spirits. Feeling comfortable, I consented to investigate.



On Friday, April 28, 2017, Zqueen, Kerry, Mom and I arrived on the property approximately 9PM. Once parked, the homeowner and her family greeted us. After brief small talk and introductions, we walked inside her home and the live feed began. Prior to starting the investigation, my team and I protected ourselves. For those who requested it, I anointed their forehead with holy oil. Next, we opened a protective bubble that would guard against negative entities. Last, to increase our safety, we prayed the Lord’s Prayer.

The first room we investigated appeared to have once been a nursery. Upon entering, I received a tingling sensation. In this room, we communicated by an EMF Meter, a pendulum, and ghost box with an entity named, Thomas. To confirm Thomas existed, we requested he manipulate the EMF Meter. Our specific request was that his energy illuminate the EMF’s light scale to yellow. By little coaxing, Thomas was able to perform the task.

For a half hour, we stood. The walls presented vibrations to the touch. Cool drafts blew where air didn’t circulate. The pendulum swung in response to a spirit being present. By ghost box manipulation, Thomas spoke. The answers that he relayed, which I hold creditable, are those that everyone heard. Other answers I hold creditable are the accurate ones he provided to our test questions.

Opposing my methods, I disagreed with one tactic the homeowner used. This was how she spoke what she believed the ghost box said before anyone else could make a mental note. Perhaps she did this because she hosted a live feed? Perhaps this was to provide suggestive thought to viewers after namedropping her business?

Regardless of technique, I am confident we contacted an entity named, “Thomas.” With evidence obtained, the homeowner suggested we would experience more activity outside. Seeing that she was eager to explore elsewhere, I thanked Thomas for communicating and I invited him to accompany us throughout the property.

Exiting the home, who we believe was Thomas continued communicating by the EMF Meter. From here, our group spilt into twos. While we went to an old well in the front yard, two of the team members, belonging to the homeowner, explored the backyard. To our disappointment, the further we walked, the least activity we received.

For a half hour, we waited near the old well for signs from beyond the grave. Nothing happened. When being outside seemed unbeneficial, the team members radioed us from their positioning. They claimed spirits were active in the backyard. However, when we arrived at their location, activity ceased.

When we reentered the house, we moved into the kitchen and sat at a table where we intended to reconnect with Thomas. As luck would have it, we succeeded. During our conversation, Thomas requested an offering of whiskey and flowers, which the homeowner agreed to supply. I asked what kind of whiskey he preferred. The first thought that entered my mind was Jack Daniel’s, so I asked if he wanted bourbon.

In a man’s voice, the ghost box answered, “Why not?”

After his rhetorical question, Thomas departed from our investigation.


The Doll

Once Thomas left, a worrisome urge overcame me. This gut instinct didn’t indicate anyone was in danger. Rather, it was a feeling that enticed me to ask if any spirits needed help. Being a person who trusts my gut instincts, I asked if any spirits required assistance. Following my question, a team member’s device replied, “Help me.” To confirm this response, I asked again and my pendulum signaled, “yes” with its swing. Although I expected the ghost box to continue communication, it morphed into nothing but static and choppy syllables and phrases.

We listened close, trying to decipher any fragment from the transmitted chaos. Interrupting the distortion, the ghost box blurted, “Doll!”

A different voice manipulated its frequency, saying, “Check point.”

The homeowner mentioned “Check point” didn’t surprise her. After all, a battlefield was six miles away where check points had been plentiful during the Civil War.

Seeing that multiple spirits were communicating, we asked how many spirits were with us. In regards to our question, the ghost box couldn’t settle on a specific number. One time it said, “Fifty.” Next, it blurted, “One hundred and fifty. Divided.”

A female investigator asked if the communicating spirit had a name. She asked this a few times, until the ghost box answered, “Element.”

A second after this reply, I saw a few bright flashes from the corner of my eye from the homeowner’s bedroom. Not long after, the ghost box noted there were children present and one wanted to speak. I asked for a name. There was silence. I asked how many kids were present. There was silence.

Not responding to any of my questions, the ghost box repeated its earlier request, “Doll.”

I asked the living if there were any dolls available within the home, to which the homeowner reminded me of the dolls in the first room we investigated. I asked, “Is there a doll in the front room you want to play with?” Again, silence.

I debated, trying to recall the dolls in that room, and I remembered seeing a Raggedy Anne doll. Due to time period, I considered this vintage toy might suffice. Working on gut instinct alone, I went into the front room, fetched the doll, returned, and centered it on the kitchen table.

Upon my return, a text device used by a team member of the homeowner, spelled out, “Lily.”

We asked if the spirit’s name was Lily and there was no reply. My gut instinct suggested the reply wasn’t referencing a human name. Due to the time of year and spiritual significance, I asked if the spirit wanted Easter Lilies. The ghost box said, “Alright.” Next, it said, “Hug.”

I offered if the spirit wanted to hug me, it could. I wouldn’t hurt it. After me allowing this interaction, I felt a light presence embrace me. The aftermath was a wavy feeling equal to a drunken buzz.

A team member asked, if we were speaking with a different spirit now. The ghost box confirmed, “Yes.” Throughout our interactions, the EMF Meter sat beside the doll. During this time span, its color scale remained active. On occasion, the spirit’s energy lit the EMF color scale up to the final light. This confirmed that a supernatural energy surrounded the doll.

A message on the text device appeared, saying, “Worried.”

The ghost box requested, “Help.”

Attempted Possession

Following the distress message, we stepped outside for fresh air. Gathered around, I explained we should help a few of the spirits who may need to crossover. To this statement, the homeowner was quick to respond otherwise. In her opinion, the spirits were happy here and they would help them crossover, if they needed it.

I thought to myself, But they do need it. They have asked for help multiple times.

Disappointed, I felt the homeowner was being selfish. But considering her team outnumbered my own, and we were on their territory, I didn’t argue. Still, I disagreed. Because of her response, I assumed she was trying to restrain the spirits against their will. Maybe this is because she was a smothering type? Or maybe she considered actual ghosts to be a good financial asset to her attraction?

Although she ignored the spirits plea, I had a trick up my sleeve. Times before, I used a method that allows me to enter a trancelike state. Most times, I use this during meditation, ancestral worship, and prayer. Utilizing this tactic tonight would allow me to gain a mental connection with the spirit. One that would allow me to relax and assist the spirit through telepathy.

We reentered the home and returned to our placement at the table. Once settled, I took a deep breath and laid my hands palm down on the tabletop. I relaxed and started an inaudible whisper. During my invoking, I knew the possibilities and dangers that might occur. So this was a slippery slope I was on. It was one where I would need to be in a twilight state that would allow me to make decisions while allowing the spirits to influence my thought. To ensure my safety, I invoked my guardian angel, Saint Raphael, for assistance.

Seconds later, the wavy feeling that I earlier experienced returned. I could tell by emotion and touch that the same spirit that hugged me before was hugging me again. I remain uncertain if it was male or female, but it felt melancholy and it was in need of comfort. I continued thinking, What is your name, but a name was never revealed. If I had a name, I could mentally instruct the spirit how to resolve its worry.

I grew tired by the state I placed myself in. Although I was still alert, my body fell limp. Team members would later note that my eyes were unblinking and wide during this exercise. The wavy feeling strengthened. I became more relaxed as a drunken euphoria eased me into sleep.

I experienced this reaction before when meditating at home. For me, meditating at home isn’t a worry. I say this because my home is safeguarded and I’m familiar with the spirits there. Being accustomed to the reaction, I understood I was excelling beyond the twilight state and I was soon to enter full sleep mode. If this happened, I would risk blacking out, which could allow possession.

Despite this spirit didn’t feel evil, I felt sorry for it, and I wanted to help it, I couldn’t risk my own wellbeing. I released a loud sigh, breaking myself out of the trance. People asked if I was okay. I said, “Yes, I just need to step outside.”

Once outside, I explained that it felt like an entity was trying to takeover. The more I explained, the more exhausted I felt, despite the bubble around me. Suddenly, it felt like I had been awake for the last 24 hours and I was soon to crash.

Although team members wanted us to investigate further, I explained I was done for the night. I said, “My energy is gone, my protective bubble isn’t strong because I let my guard down, and I’m ready to go home and go to sleep.” Everyone replied that they understood, but the homeowner said there was one last thing she wanted me to investigate.


The Lily and the Vortex

The homeowner explained, she wanted me to explore the living room and see if I could sense anything. Personally, I didn’t feel like doing so, but I agreed and noted I wanted to do it alone. For what it was worth, I hoped to use the opportunity in solitude to encourage, “If any spirits needed to crossover, they can do so.” Unfortunately, the homeowner wanted her son to accompany me, which hindered my plans.

Upon our walking into the living room, I was drawn to the front, right corner, near an old couch. Without second thought, I went to that corner, closed my eyes, opened my mind, and waited. Trying to be receptive, I discovered the longer I stood there, the more peaceful I felt. Also, to my surprise, my energy began to strengthen.

In my mind’s eye, I saw a field of blackness. I took a deep breath and focused my attention. Breathing out, a symbol flashed into my thoughts. At first, I wasn’t certain what the image was until I identified it as a bud. Studying the potential flower, I noticed its section nearest the receptacle appeared to be a deep orange color. Without expectation, the bud began to open. As it blossomed, its petals extended outward, its deep orange fading up the scale from dark to light.

From behind, I heard a sound that reminded me of someone throwing a pebble at a window. Startled and distracted, I opened my eyes to see my pendulum I held rotated in a clockwise direction. Feeling like I accomplished what the homeowner expected of me, I said I was finished.

Returning outside, I explained the vision I received and where I stood in the living room. The homeowner asked if I were psychic.

I explained, “I don’t claim to be.”

After I replied, she activated her phone and began a search. Once she completed searching, she turned the phone’s screen to face me. The image that she found was the exact flower I described. She asked, “Is this the flower you saw?”

I answered it was and she confirmed it was a lily.

To justify the lily’s significance, she explained, a long time ago, a loved one had planted lilies nearby. Although these flowers used to return every spring, they had stopped growing years ago. Furthermore, she said the person who planted them had passed on. Previously, she suspected this individual visited their location in spirit form.

As for my positioning in the living room, the homeowner shared her thoughts. Times before, she felt attracted to the spot where I had stood. In the past, when she stood there, using her pendulum, the tool would vibrate. She reasoned because of how her pendulum reacted, she believed that corner to be a vortex.



When my crew left the property, a few of us believed the homeowner kept spirits against their will. At the end of the night, I felt some spirits were happy where others wanted to crossover. Due to no one helping them, the chances of them ascending were slim to none.

After the live feed circulated, a publisher who I no longer work with, saw the footage. Since his publishing house was in a crunch, he wanted to film a paranormal documentary at the house. Included with his plan, he wanted to make the documentary comedic. Already, this felt wrong. I didn’t care about making a comedic documentary about ghosts. That subject shouldn’t be made lite of to start with.

I explained, I didn’t want to disrespect the spirits and I wasn’t going to. He reasoned, Zqueen and I just had to be ourselves, people would love it, and it would increase my book sales. My toes curled. More exploitation. I could care less about the amount of sales my books generated under this circumstance.

Then I had an epiphany. If I could return to the property, I might could gain alone time. In solitude, I could help the spirits that wanted to crossover. If doing a documentary could grant me this opportunity, so be it.

I explained to him, “Okay, but we aren’t going to disrespect the spirits.” I stressed this because he’s a skeptic. With ground rules set, I introduced him to the homeowner. Due to them being unable to devise a workable schedule, the project never began.

Side Notes:

This circumstance remains a cold case as I no longer converse with the homeowner. Due to her actions, I have no interest in future correspondence. I’m not sure if she has begun experiencing negative spiritual attacks yet, or not. Nor am I sure if she had a change of heart. I will probably never know the answer to either. I can only hope, she is doing the right thing.

Below are some previous entries I have written that can grant readers helpful tips.




I am not responsible for anyone’s actions in regards to this entry.

Signs from Beyond the Grave


Many spirits have unfinished business. Sometimes that business is for themselves. Other times, that business regards one’s own wellbeing. More often than not, it’s for an emotional wellbeing. No matter, every case is different, and every case requires special attention.

When someone close to me has passed away, I have learned to pay attention to the signs they provide. Sometimes, the deceased will relay messages in dreams. Other times, their signs can be physical and blunt, or symbolic. Rather than be dismissive to signs, or run in fear, it’s better to pay attention and rationalize.

In this blog, I will provide examples of paranormal signs. Also, I will explain how one can determine if the spirit creating these signs is at peace or restless. Included are two personal experiences that shows the positive and negative.

The Difference Between a Happy and Unhappy Spirit


In my personal experience, I have learned that determining the difference isn’t difficult. If a spirit can present signs regarding their afterlife adjustment, they will occur soon after their death. In the past, I have noticed unhappy spirits are physically destructive to inanimate objects. Opposite of this, happy spirits provide peaceful visions, smells, and scenarios.

Positive Signs Include: Familiar aromas or symbols. (Symbolism can include something that the living can associate with the deceased. These can include, but are not limited to: songs, insects, birds, animals, numbers, flowers, coins, etc.) Symbols can occur in two instances. One is the symbol that represents something the deceased adored in life. Another instance might not reflect something the deceased adored. Rather this instance is something that has a spiritual significance.

If symbolism occurs that one cannot connect to the deceased, research the symbol’s spiritual significance.

Negative Signs Include: Destruction of a personal item. Sometimes, this can be something that the deceased held dear. Other times, it can be the destruction of something big enough to gain attention. No physical or emotional harm should come to the living when this occurs.

Both Signs Might Include: Dreams and gut instincts. If the spirit is strong enough, they might materialize.

The Unhappy Spirit


In 2017, a friend of mine, who later became an acquaintance, passed away. We will call her X. Since elementary school, she and I had been friends. Later, throughout our teenage years, we became inseparable and we developed a platonic, unconditional love. Yet, our bond ended during adulthood.

Days after her father’s funeral, she reconnected with a guy who we will call F. From the start, F displayed signs of an abusive and controlling personality. Although X would normally listen to me about bad ideas, she didn’t hear me out about avoiding F.

A few months passed and X and I had fallen out of touch. Then one day, for no apparent reason, she contacted me, saying that she and F wanted to visit and spend the night. Without hesitation, I invited them over for the weekend. When they arrived that Friday evening, everything started well. Little did I know the following day would change everything.

Saturday morning, X and F entered my kitchen as I finished preparing our breakfast. Once we sat and began eating, I expected small talk until the coffee kicked in. However, they surprised me. The morning topic they instigated was a sermon about how I was going to burn in Hell for being gay and I needed to repent. In response, I kept my cool, allowed them to eat, and we parted ways when they finished.

After they left, text messages followed their departure. A rambling of myself telling X that I didn’t deserve this disrespect. Furthermore, if they couldn’t respect me for who I was, I didn’t need them in my life. A few minutes later, a lifelong friendship ended.

Years passed, and one day X contacted me via Myspace, saying she wanted to meet. Despite how she hurt me, and how I hold a grudge, I swallowed my pride and decided a brief meeting might be good. Without inviting her to my home, I met her at a late-night diner.

Upon seeing her, my first impression insisted she was an abused wife. I asked if she wanted to speak about anything, and she knew I was referencing her condition. X said, “Yeah,” then avoided speaking of her abuse. Instead, she elaborated about how happy she was and how she had become a mother. This shocked me. In the past, doctors said she would be unable to bare children due to diabetic and pancreatic issues. Seeing how she avoided the subject, I didn’t pry any further.

We wouldn’t speak again until years later, when she contacted me via Facebook. In our email exchange, we engaged in small talk. Displaying tenacity, she pressed that she wanted us to hang out. Not feeling comfortable, I made excuses. Then one random day, she appeared at my workplace, and as fate would have it, my morning break began. Rather than avoiding her any further, I invited her to sit with me, which she did.

For the first time, since our friendship ended, she apologized. Considering how time heals wounds, I forgave her. Still, I decided we weren’t going to rekindle our old friendship.

A moment of awkward silence passed, then she opened up about her married life. Without interrupting her, she explained during early marriage, F had lured her into a religious cult. The church they attended was constructed of F’s relatives, most of whom sounded just as insane as F. Once inducted as a church member, she wasn’t allowed to converse with those outside the congregation.

The good news was, she finally filed for divorce and she was gaining custody of their children. With my break drawing near an end, X admitted there was more to tell. Unable to continue conversing at that time, I explained we would have to speak more at a later date. She seemed pleased with that response.

As we walked back inside, she expressed she wanted us to coauthor a “tell all” book about her time with the church. I said “Sure.” Not knowing if she lied about her experiences, I shrugged her off without intending to collaborate.

While not wanting to become too emotionally involved, I avoided her. Still, she was persistent in her texts and emails. Each one I read at my own leisure and I responded when I felt strong enough. The last time we spoke was through an email she sent. The contents of which expressed she wanted us to return to a platonic, unconditional love. I explained that I was sorry, and we could meet on occasion, but the relationship we once had was over. She said she understood.

A month later, I received a call from a friend who said X had died due to her diabetes. Unbeknownst to me, X and F had been going to court since their breakup in regards to F abusing their children. Eventually, to my horror, through X’s brother, I also discovered X had known of the abuse. However, due to her compliance in court, she received a reduced sentence. Word had it, her sentence would receive a greater reduction if she turned herself in, which she did. On the day she turned herself in, her diabetes went into overdrive, resulting in a heart attack.

In my own way, I mourned for her, her children, and myself. I also suffered mixed emotions. Should I hate X? Should I feel sorry for her? Should I tap into my unconditional love and forgive her? I didn’t know, but the confusion tore me apart.

Days later, after receiving this information, my home went insane. When my morning started, I walked into the living room. Upon opening the curtains, I saw both living room window blinds had been yanked down. I didn’t think anything of it, maybe they fell during the night. If they did, I never heard them. Being late for work, I decided I would deal with them that evening.

As the day progressed, I went to work and later excused myself for a crying fit. After calming myself, I returned inside and discovered my partner had texted me. Although he didn’t hear or witness it, the light pole in my library had fallen from its placement and struck the floor. Also, the cabinet beside the lamp was open. If the lamp had struck the furniture to cause its opening, the cabinet remained undamaged.

Due to previous episodes with unhappy spirits, I realized a restless spirit was in my home. Due to my gut instinct, I believed the spirit was X and she needed to tell me something. Before the situation escalated, I excused myself from work and rushed home. After tidying up the mess, I cleared off my schedule and blocked the world out.

With nowhere to turn for answers, I pulled out my tarot cards. Since I had multiple questions, and tarot cards can provide detailed insight, I knew I needed to document.

First, I took a notebook, and at the top of each page, I wrote down a question regarding X and the loose ends that haunted me. Doing this would allow me to write down a lengthy response for each question. It would also serve as a great reference for a later analysis.

Next, over the upcoming hours, the tarot spreads unfolded, one question at a time. With each secret revealed, I immediately wrote down the answer to its corresponding question. Once I received all I needed, and I had direction, it was time to investigate.

Between her brother, and a mutual friend who she lived with after she escaped F, I explained what I did and why I did it. One at a time, I reviewed the questions and answers I obtained. Among us, we shared a conversation that would have been nonexistent if it hadn’t been for the signs and the readings.

In our conversations, her brother was able to confirm some of the answers I received. For what he was unable to confirm, our mutual friend attested to the rest. In my reading, I inquired why X allowed the child abuse to persist. Among her brother and myself, we had no clue how to feel about that circumstance. However, the reading I preformed urged she was unable to act against the abuse due to fear.

When speaking of this subject, and what the cards revealed, our mutual friend explained that X confided in him. In the conversation he shared with her, more than just her husband was guilty, and she feared for her life. At last, her brother and I felt relief. X wasn’t guilty for what had transpired after all. I considered the signs she provided, the tarot readings, and our conversation. I think X’s unfinished business regarded information. She needed us to know that the abuse wasn’t her fault due to fearing for her life.

Days later, X’s brother explained the children she bared with F were placed into a good home.

That following Halloween, I contacted X by the Ouija board. She explained she blamed no one for her death. I asked if she was responsible for the destructive signs prior to the card readings. She confirmed she was. I inquired, “Why?” She answered she didn’t want anyone to think she would allow child abuse. The final question I asked was if her children were truly in a good place and if she was finally happy. She replied yes to both.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

If you, or someone you know, is suffering from abuse, get help. There are tons of sources who can assist those being victimized. In my searches, I have found the phone number for The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Although I am not affiliated with this hotline, their toll-free number is open 24/7 for all sufferers of domestic abuse.

For Your Convenience:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline
Toll Free: 1-800-799-7233

The Happy Spirit


When my Great Aunt Carrie passed away, it was a shock to everyone. The day was December 21, 2008 and it began unusual. That afternoon, I awoke late to my IPod dock turning on. Although I had never set it to alarm mode, I thought nothing about it. Maybe I had accidently hit a button the night before that triggered its function.

I lay in bed, listening. The song that played was from the new album, “The Dream” by In This Moment. I had downloaded the album onto my IPod a few days ago and hadn’t the chance to listen to its entirety. Without thinking anything unusual, the current track was one I had yet to hear, “Into the Light.” (For those who have never heard this song, it is a beautiful track about death.) Dismissing the occurrence, I decided that night I would unplug my IPod dock before bed to insure uninterrupted sleep.

That evening, my parents and I were getting dressed to visit a family friend. As usual, since we were near leaving, I called Grandma to see if all was well before our trip. Sometimes, this being one of those times, I called her home and she didn’t answer.

Because we live nearby, I walked over to her home, knocked on the door, and saw she was on the phone. As she opened the door, I overheard her say Aunt Carrie had passed away. My first reaction was one of heart stopping sickness. That emotion was soon blocked upon realizing, Mom was walking over.

Without saying a word, I raced back outside, met Mom in the driveway, and revealed the bad news. She, as expected, broke down. Yet, she was able to regain self-control before Grandma saw her. Canceling our plans, we all drove to Jackson, MS, where Aunt Carrie lived.

Arriving at her home, two of Aunt Carrie’s friends greeted us. Here, they explained that last week, she required a meeting with her circle of friends. Following this request, they met at their usual hang out. After everyone gathered, she gifted each individual an envelope of money, claiming this to be Christmas presents. From my understanding, everyone looked confused as this was unlike her.

When their story concluded, we also admitted a peculiarity. Last Thanksgiving, Aunt Carrie hung around longer than usual. Without speaking, but by using body language, she acted like she wanted to say something. Instead, she remained silent.

Once sharing our stories, we went to her bedroom, where her body had been found. I noticed near the bed, an opened bottle of alcohol and an ashtray full of cigarette butts. In the DVD player, she had a copy of “Sordid Lives,” a movie that we both admired. On the bed was a worn copy of the book “Kinflicks,” a dramedy about dysfunctional family. I remember thinking, when I die, I hope I go out like her – surrounded by elements that make me happy.

Aunt Carrie never wanted a funeral service or burial. Because of her wishes, we had no other choice but to view her prior to cremation. Leaving the scene, we drove to the funeral home, where we saw her final state of existence. After viewing the body, we ate at one of the pubs she frequented in her honor, then we returned home.

That night, we later gathered at my grandmother’s home. This was when an epiphany struck me. The song that I awoke to that day was a sign. I revealed this, which Mom and I considered it to be Aunt Carrie reaching out to us, letting us know she was okay. After all, this logic would make sense considering she had died the previous night.

That year, Christmas felt off kilter since Aunt Carrie always spent the holidays with us. Still, we kept her memory alive by continuing traditions. A few days later, still in mourning, I contemplated if I should go out for New Year’s Eve, or remain at home, sulking.

One night, between the two holidays, I had finished smoking Aunt Carrie’s Virginia Slims. Also, I polished off a near empty bottle of coffee liquor she had opened. That night I went to bed, and Aunt Carrie’s cat, which I adopted, joined me.

Early the next morning, I awoke on the couch. Sleepwalking was something I had never done before. Yet, here I was, laying in a different location than I fell asleep in. Before I could move, another epiphany struck, I had just awoken from a dream.

Focusing, I recalled the dream began with me in bed. In this vision, the smell of cigarette smoke from the living room awoke me. Getting up, I walked towards the smell and saw my Aunt Carrie and her cat laying on my couch. She was curled up, smoking, and reading a book. There was also her distinct smell, the perfume Liquid Diamonds. I wasn’t shocked, or afraid, when seeing her. Instead, I stood, watching her.

She looked up and said, “Come cuddle with me, Baby Cakes,” a name she always called me. Not questioning her, or speaking, I did what she said and fell asleep in her embrace.

After reminiscing of this dream and how real it felt, it provided me with enough peace to move on. I interpreted the vision as more than a dream. It was a reality I was able to tap into, something between the state of being coherent and asleep. A level of existence that found its way into my subconscious, allowing me to know Aunt Carrie was at peace.

I lay there, no longer crying for her, but for myself. These were tears of the realization that she had moved on and it was time I do the same.

At this point, the living has to realize their loved one has entered another plane of existence. In this stage of grief, we mourn for ourselves because we can’t be with our loved ones. This type of selfish mourning is normal and it’s nothing to feel guilty about. After all, it is healthy to grieve, but it’s not healthy to spend the rest of one’s life in grief. Humans know this and spirits know this, which is why, if they are able, they provide us signs of comfort.



Despite if one thinks they are imagining signs, or not, it is better to pay attention. This could grant peace to a spirit, or it could grant emotional support for oneself. Still, one may face dead ends before resolving issues, or interpreting the signs. If the spirit is able, and we are willing to listen, they will present signs, showing if they are at peace or not. From there, it is up to us to either assist in their wellbeing, or accept their departure.

Personally, I have always been attentive to dreams where deceased loved ones relay messages. Most times, these dreams have either improved my life or granted affective insight. Some may argue that if a spirit visits one’s dreams, it is a demon. My argument is there is no proof to support these spirits being demons.

My advice is to pay attention to dreams where deceased loved ones visit. In specificity, these should be loved ones who one knew in life. Never pay attention to dreams where strangers relay messages. The stranger could be a trickster posing as a helpful source.

If one has never operated an Ouija and would like to, please visit my blog on how to correctly operate an Ouija. In the past, I have experienced great success in referring to the Ouija for answers. Visit the link HERE.

A detailed tarot card blog might be in the future on how to work the cards. But for now, all one must know is tarot cards yield best results when gifted. With that said, one needs to browse tarot decks in advance to see what deck they feel connected to. Once experiencing that connection, they must ask for that deck to be gifted to them by a loved one.

If one wants to perform a paranormal investigation, visit my blog on conducting investigations. Visit the link HERE.

Side Notes

I am not responsible for how one interprets signs from their deceased loved ones.